Friday, May 27

Five Questions...

Thanks for picking me Coffeegirl! If anyone out there wants to play, I'll list the rules at the end of the post. Now that I've thought about it, do I even have 5 readers to request to play? Ah well, here we go...

5 Questions:

1. If you could meet anyone and ask them one question...who would it be and what would you ask?

My grandchildren and I would ask for a big hug.

2. How did you tell Daddy K that you were pregnant with Little L?

I never had to tell him. I peed on the stick and set it on the bathroom counter. We then sat on the bed and stared at each other for 3 minutes. Slowly we crept up to the bathroom door giggling trying to decide who should look in first - "no you go first" "no you go!" so we decided that we'd go in at the same time. There it was, that pink line and then we had the following conversation that went something like this:

Me: Oh my God, it's a line! (silent pause) Is it really a solid line?
Him: It doesn't look exactly like the line we should be matching it to. (Picking up the directions.) Did you hold the stick with the test line facing outward or inward?
Me: Umm...I think it was facing inward.
Him: It's supposed to face outward. Maybe it's wrong.
Me: Ok, I'll take another one.

After a midnight trip to the grocery store and seven tests later, we finally believed that I was pregnant. No that's not true, we almost believed but didn't truly believe until we saw the first ultrasound. When Luke is really acting like a nut, I still wonder if those tests really were positive.

3. Pick one: Living in a time long ago or living in the future?

Without a doubt in the future. I can't live without the modern conveniences we have now, imagine what they will be in the future.

4. You're on a reality show. Which one is it and how do you win? we know each other? This is like the ultimate question for me because I LOVE and am ADDICTED to reality shows. I've been thinking about this all day now because my answer has to be perfect, as if answering this is going to get me on a show....Coffeegirl, are you really a casting director? Here were my thoughts...

The Bachelorette - oh yeah, I'm married so I probably wouldn't win. Damn.

Big Brother - I thought I could win this one because I think I could live off of PB & J for weeks but then I remembered that I need coffee. Without coffee, I'd be so bitchy that people wouldn't like me and they'd vote me out.

Survivor - For the same reason as Big Brother, I wouldn't last in survivor. I'd also get voted out because I don't think my tribe mates would want to see me in my underwear for that long.

Paradise Hotel - This would be so fun and I would have won back when I was younger and single because I totally would have fooled around with the guys to get what I wanted. Although, if Toni was on the show with me, I probably would have been kicked off for kicking her ass! Game On Toni!

Amazing Race - This is my favorite reality show ever and I'd totally win with the help of my sister, G. We're both funny so we'd win the support of the t.v. audience right away. We know how each other acts during all kinds of situations so we would know when to be quiet, when to push, when to take control, etc. We've also both traveled a lot so we know how to act in other countries and the most important thing is that we both know how to drive and can both read a map. Our biggest regret is that we never applied. Now I have a 1 year old and she's pregnant with twins so we'll have to put this dream on hold. Maybe some day we'll be the oldest set of sisters to win The Amazing Race. I love Phil!!

5. What if you could stay in any of the places you've lived in your lifetime, where would you be?

Abilene, Texas. Nah. Austin, Texas. Nah. Anywhere in Texas. Hell no. The Philippines. Maybe, but could my hair withstand the humidity? England. Oh yes, I'd have to go with England. I loved it when I lived there. I have been back to visit and loved it then too. It has old world charm with modern conveniences. I love the weather - cool and wet. The scenery is beautiful. It's a great jumping off point for traveling elsewhere. The people were friendly. There's nothing about it that I don't love, except maybe the food.

That was fun, now here's the important stuff:

The Official Interview Game Rules

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying "interview me."

2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.

3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Happy 1st Birthday Luke!

Dear Luke,

Hey baby, you are one year old today! Congratulations on making it through a whole year with me and your dad.


At times it seemed like time was flying by yet at other times, I never thought we'd never make it to the end of the day but we always did. It's been a crazy year...


On May 25, 2004 at about 4pm, I went to Garden Ridge in Austin to buy some frames for your nursery. While shopping, I started getting really uncomfortable back pains and immediately I knew that it was you and you were ready. That night, your dad and I walked around our apartment complex until I thought it was time to go to the hospital. At about midnight, we went to the hospital but at 2am, they sent me home with something to help me sleep...apparently you weren't quite ready yet. So we get home and I climb into bed ready to get some seriously needed sleep but you had other things in mind. You wanted out.


It was May 26, 2004 and we finally checked into the hospital around 3pm. Your aunts (momma's sisters), their husbands, and your Lola (momma's momma) all came up to the hospital to wait for you. We were all crowded into a hospital room getting ready to watch the After The Rose episode of The Bachelor - season 5, one of momma's favorite shows, when you decided it really was time to meet us. Don't worry, they showed it again the following week so all is forgiven. After a whole lot of pain and a little bit of pushing, we finally met each other at 9:02pm.

Not too long before we met you, we thought we knew what you looked like. This is who we were expecting to meet...

3D Luke

But instead, this is who we met...

IMG_0036 IMG_0026

You were our little baby boy weighing 7 pounds 14 ounces. I held your little body right away and you were so squishy and fragile in my arms. Then your dad took you to the nurses so they could give you some tests to see how smart you were. You scored high on everything...we knew you'd be smart. I had never seen such a happiness or a love in your dad's eyes as I saw that night. We were a family.

After a few days, it was time to bring you home. I remember sitting with you in the backseat of the car and saying, "We are going to your new home. Your dad and I don't know what we're doing, but we're going to do our best. I'm sorry if we make mistakes,"


The first couple of weeks were wonderful. Your dad stayed home from work so we were always together. At night, I would lay you between my knees and you'd sleep there. We planned our first big outing not long after we brought you home. We were going to go to Blockbuster and then to some other store. We made it to Blockbuster but while inside, you had an explosion in your diaper. We didn't know what to do so we hurried to the check out and then rushed home. The thought had never crossed our mind that we could change your diaper in the bathroom or car. It took us a little while to figure that out.


After two weeks, your dad had to go back to work. Unfortunately, that's when we got thrush. Your poor little mouth hurt so bad. You didn't want to nurse and you would scream and cry for hours because of the pain. I would cry with you because all I wanted was for you to be happy. It took almost 2 months to get rid of the thrush but once it was gone, you were much happier.

IMG_0245 IMG_0468

In September, when you were only 3 months old, we moved to Washington DC for your dad's new job. That was your first plane trip and you were so good. We lived in one apartment for a few months and then moved to another tiny apartment in Vienna, Virginia. It was there that you first started to crawl, sit up, pull up to stand, walk along the furniture, and climb up stairs. You also had your first Christmas in that loved to play with the paper more than the toys. Your first teeth came in and that's when the drooling started. It hasn't stopped since. You now have 7 little teeth. Oh, you also learned to program the DVD player in that apartment because it would only play your Baby Einstein discs. We never did figure out how you did that.

IMG_0574 IMG_0652

In April when you were 10 months old, you and I flew to Austin to spend a month with momma's family while your dad wrapped things up in DC. We then flew to be with him in Guadalajara, Mexico. That was a month ago. Now here we are on your birthday.

In the past two weeks, you have started opening all the drawers and cabinets. You love to pull everything out and climb inside. Unfortunately, with the opening comes closing and lots of fingers being slammed. You absolutely love to terrorize the dogs. I think you and Dudley made a deal that she would let you pull her hair if you feed her all of your meals. When you can, you will grab ahold of Sam's tail and hold on as hard and as long as you can.

poor Sam

Your favorite thing in the world right now are wheels. You absolutely love anything with wheels...strollers, trucks, cars. You spend most of your time rolling things around.


I've seen you stand up on your own a few times and you'll balance on your feet for a few seconds. We think you'll be walking soon. You and I go for a walk every morning and you love it. Before moving to Mexico, you hated being in your stroller. Now you kick up your feet and talk the entire time.

Baby Luke, this past year has been the most difficult and most wonderful year of my life. The love I have for you is greater than anything I could ever imagine. Before seeing you, I never thought I could love someone so much. I am amazed at how you change from day to day. I love watch you play. Your smile melts me every time I see it.

goofy smile swinging Luke

Your personality contains a little bit of everyone who loves you, but it is all your own. There is no one like you. You are the most beautiful child I have ever seen.

I want to tell you what I told you a year ago...your dad and I don't know what we're doing, but we're doing our best. I'm sorry if we make mistakes.

Happy Birthday Luke! Love, Momma

Luke and Momma

Wednesday, May 25

100 Things About Me - #3 The Death Penalty

I don't support the death penalty. I was reading The Merry Widow and it got me thinking about my dad. I've been thinking about him a lot lately, especially since Luke's 1st birthday is on Thursday and they never got the chance to meet each other. My dad died back in 1998 at only 57 years old. Man, when I was a kid, 57 would have sounded so old. He died an unexpected death and it was (and is) the hardest most painful thing I've ever gone through, from the moment I heard the bad news until today. I pretty much cried non-stop for the first several months. Then it slowed down to crying only a few times a day to once a day to a few times a week to not-so-special occasions like hearing a sad song or something sparking a memory, to special occasions which is where I am now. I still cry when something sparks a memory of him, like St. Patrick's Day (he was part Irish and St. Paddy's Day was his favorite) or something big happens in my life, like graduating from college, getting married, getting my first real job, buying my first car, having a baby, and now living this life that we are living. He would be so proud of daddy K for this new career. You know, I hate calling him daddy K so from now on the husband will be known as BDK for big daddy K but it sounds a lot better than daddy K.

Anyhoo, what does this all have to do with me not supporting the death penalty? No, my dad was not some criminal on death row. Experiencing the death of someone you love is the worst pain ever. It physically and mentally hurts. You cry a certain cry that can only come from this kind of pain. Knowing the pain of losing a loved one made me realize that I'm against the death penalty. Who is truly hurt when someone is killed on death row - the criminal's family. The criminal gets off easy. I say make their ass sit in jail for the rest of their lives with absolutely no chance of parole. Hopefully the criminal will suffer in jail and his or her parents won't have to deal with the pain of their child's death.

Just in case there is internet in the after-life...I love you dad! I miss you and I wish more than anything that you could be with us for Luke's 1st birthday!

See the rest of the list:
#1 - Waxing
#2 - Punctuation

Friday, May 20

100 Things About Me - #2 Punctuation

I like to use dashes (-) and ellipses (...) and exclamation points (!) a lot.

See the rest of the list:
#1 - Waxing

Stuff Portrait Friday

We still haven't received our shipment of furniture and stuff, so I had to stretch this one a little...

My relaxing place...right now it's the jet sauna tub although I've only used it once.


Hopefully soon it will be a nice hammock or patio set in my back yard.


I so need to relax.

My medicine description necessary.


My souvenier...I don't have any souveniers with me but maybe this counts. We were visiting my in-laws in Albuquerque and this is what we brought home.

dirty baby

Thursday, May 19

A "Reel" Movie Review - Star Wars Episodio III

Ok, we just got back from watching Star Wars Episodio III - La Venganza de los Siths (that's what it's called in Mexico). It was actually pretty good because it was full of drama. Here's the run down. If you don't want to know, then don't read...

• all is not well in the universe
• chick gets knocked up (but they don't show them gettin it on)
• guy loves chick and chick loves guy but love is a secret
• guy thinks chick will die during birth
• guy goes bad
• guys fight each other with light sticks
• little green man fights with light stick
• guy gets a new outfit - all black, very slimming
• chick has twins then dies
• holy shit...did you know that Luke and Leia are brother and sister and make out in a later movie?
• holier shit...did you know that Darth Vader is their dad. How cool is that to say your dad is Darth Vader?

Speaking of Darth Spring Break when I was in college at the UT, I went to Padre (or as people not from Texas say - South Padre Island). My friends and I crossed the border to Matamoros, Mexico to party at the clubs there because that was the cool (and unsafe) thing to do. I think my boyfriend at the time (ok, more of a guy I'm fooling around with at the time) had gotten into an argument earlier in the night (probably because he was fooling around with other girls, jerk) so I was determined to get really drunk and make out with someone (well, I was a little slutty back in those days so I probably wanted more than to just make out). Anyway, a lucky drunk guy struck up a conversation with me that went something like this:

lucky guy - hey hot stuff

me - want to buy me a drink

lucky guy - sure, want to make out

me - you know it

You're probably wondering what this has to do with Darth Vader. Was it that he was breathing really heavy? No, well he probably was but that's not it. Was it that he was the was once good and then turned bad? No. Was it that he wore a black cape and mask? No, but he was wearing black sneakers (I say sneakers not tennis shoes) without any socks or shoelaces...oh my. I'm sure his feet really stinky. The reason this relates to Darth Vader is that he told me his name was VADER!!! The sad thing is that I still made out with him. There's a post for another day...all the guys I've made out with that I regret.

Back to the movie review...let me tell you a little about the theater. This was the best movie theater I've ever been to. Who knew that Mexico would have some kick ass theaters. We paid about $13 for two tickets in the VIP theater. To get to the VIP theater, you go through the VIP lounge that serves sushi (yeah, sushi at a Mexican movie theater doesn't sound all that appetizing), crepes (doesn't sound as bad as sushi but still didn't try it), alcohol (not just beer, but mixed drinks too), and the typical movie theater fare. We ended up getting nachos, popcorn, and 2 large sodas (I say sodas, not cokes) for $8!!! Then we get into the theater which has only large leather recliners with built in cup holders. There's also a table between every couple of recliners with a menu on it because there are waiters there to take and bring your order!! Sorry Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, but this place has you beat! The seats were so comfortable, we could totally get it on in there. We didn't because daddy K would have imagined he was making love to the screen, but we've still got 2 years here to go...

I should be a professional movie reviewer.

Who's Your Daddy?

Luke, I am your father!

Ok, so little L's real name is Luke. Don't start stalking him now that you know his real name.

Daddy K is a huge, and I mean HUGE Star Wars fan. He's not a freaky fan who dresses up at conventions or anything like that. And naming our son Luke was actually my idea - unless daddy K was smart enough to make me believe it was my idea...nah. I'm not that big of a fan although I've seen all the movies. I don't really get all the excitement about it either, but who cares. Anyway, a few months ago we had the following conversation as we were talking about if and when to have another kid:

Daddy K: Maybe we could name our next kid Sky. That could be a boy or a girl name.

Me (oblivious and thinking how sweet that he's already thinking of names for a future child): Hmmm, maybe. That's kind of a granola name but it might be cute for a girl.

Daddy K: Yeah, and then maybe we could name our third kid Walker.

It actually took me a second to get it. You know, how funny would it be if some day I yelled out the front door "Luke...Sky...Walker, time for dinner!"

Wednesday, May 18

100 Things About Me - #1 Waxing

I didn't know what to write about today so I decided to make a list of 100 things about me. I figured others do it, so why not me. But instead of making a list, I'm going to do it post by post. This way, I always having something to write about. Ok, here's #1...

I love having my eyebrows waxed. Clean eyebrows really are like a mini-facelift. When my brows are all overgrown and funky, it kinda puts me in a bad mood. I think my first wax was back in the early 1990s and I haven't been able to pluck since then. It's like I lost the ability. Since we've been in Mexico - almost a month, I haven't had my brows waxed until yesterday. Hooray! Back in the US, I paid anywhere from $17 in Texas to $24 in DC to have my eyebrows and lip waxed. Yesterday, it was only $3!!! I'm thinking about getting a bikini wax just because I've never done it but I'm a little scared. God knows (and by God I really mean daddy K) it needs it!

OH, that reminds me. When I went to get my eyebrows waxed yesterday, there was another woman there having the works done. Poor woman. They had her in the first stall with see-through curtains so anyone who walked in could see her business. When I first got there, she was having her bikini line done. When I left, she was having her ass done. Not only was she having her entire ass waxed smooth, they were doing the crack. Yes people, she was having her ass crack waxed. I'm sure she would appreciate me telling the entire internet about it.

Friday, May 13

Stuff Portrait Friday

Great idea Kristine and Susie. I want to play...


I think I win the award for ugliest and trashiest thing hanging in the house. Our house is furnished with stuff from daddy K's employer until our personal shipment arrives so these curtains were already here. This is little L's room. It was too bright with the lovely curtains so we needed a way to darken the room. You can't see it in this picture, but the curtains are white with red and blue squiggly lines going up and down them. At least we kept everything matching. I suppose we could have gone with tin foil in the window instead.


I love haircare products!


Like everyone else, my favorite material objects are our wedding/engagement rings. Although it's not perfect, our marriage is pretty good and despite what he says sometimes, daddy K is the best! But for some reason, neither one of us wears our wedding rings...what's that all about?

Thursday, May 12

Read a good book lately?

I looking for a book to read. Usually I would go into Barnes and Noble and browse the paperback new release and employee recommendation sections, but no BN here. The last book I read was My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. Really interesting and a tear jerker. I love books that make me that weird? I'm looking for fiction that doesn't require a whole lot of thought...easy reading. You know, summer reading. Something I can read while sitting in this hot house as little L naps (HAHAHA! he says) because it's damn hot outside and homes here don't have airconditioning. Any recommendations?

Secret Lovers - Yeah, that's what we are

1. Our maid...maid sounds like such an ugly word so let's say it in Spanish. Nuestra criada, Myra. Oh Myra. You have stolen my heart. You come here every other day and sweep me off my feet. You do things that daddy K won't do for me. You clean the kitchen which includes the inside of the microwave, the burners on the stove, and the coffee pot. You even empty the silver things in the sink that keep stuff from going down the drain. You clean the bathrooms and don't complain about my hair all over everything. Maybe you do complain and I just don't understand but that is ok. Lovers are allowed to complain. I suppose in that way, you are a bit like daddy K. He complains and I just don't understand. You are so patient with me when I try to talk to you in Spanish. Even when you laugh at me, I know it's a laugh full of love. We have only known each other for a couple of short weeks, but oh how I love you.

Daddy K and I may have to fight over you because I think he loves you too even though you've never met. When he comes home to a clean house and a happy wife (because I didn't clean it), things are good. It could also be because I told him you have big boobs and wear tight white t-shirts with your colored bras showing through so he thinks you have to be hot.

2. Dudley, my dog. We have two dogs, Dudley and Sam. Sam, I love you too but I LOVE Dudley. You too do things that daddy K won't do for me. You give me kisses on my toes and in between my toes, even when my feet are stinky and sweaty. I think you like it better that way. Daddy K has been known to kiss my toes too, but never in between my toes or when my feet are a little bit gross after a hot day in close-toed shoes with no socks. That is something special just for you. You also let little L terrorize you and it makes me smile every time.

3. The Japanese. You invented Shinbi Thermal Reconditioning which has changed my life. You created a miracle that changed my kinky, funky, curly hair into beautiful, shiny straight hair even when it's super humid. I have become your bitch because yes, I will pay $600 every 6 - 9 months to have it redone. But I'm sorry that I can't say that you do something that daddy K can't do. He did straighten my hair once using a flat iron when I was pregnant and had a broken arm, just so I'd feel pretty for a couple of days. That's love for you.

4. Melted cheese. You make me happy when all else fails.

Wednesday, May 11

Ever want to be on a jury

**This is an extremely long post and I apologize for it, but if you have time, please read it and give me your opinion.**

Back in Jan 2004 when I was 4 months pregnant with little L, daddy K and I were in an accident. Not the kind of accident you're probably thinking of, we were in a golf cart accident. We are now involved in a lawsuit and I'd like your opinion. Here's the story...

In anticipation of daddy K getting this job that would move us out of the country, we decided we would sell our house and move into an apartment. If the job didn't come through, we'd live in the apartment for a year and then buy another house. Our house was cute but small and not in the best neighborhood. One Saturday morning, we stopped by an apartment complex to take a look. Turns out this place didn't accept dogs and we have 2, but I wanted to look at a model unit anyway...I'm nosey that way. We rode in a golf cart with the apartment lady (she'll be AL for the rest of the post) to the model unit. The apartment was nice but not all that fancy schmancy. I made small talk with the woman showing us the apartment and mentioned that I was pregnant. At that time, I was just looking fat not pregnant.

We get back in the golf cart to go back to the management office. AL is driving, I'm sitting next to her and daddy K is sitting in the back seat that faces outward. Instead of reversing out of the parking space, she drives forward. She doesn't just roll forward, it is as if she floors it as hard as she could. In front of us is a parking curb and a then a 6 foot drop straight down into a ditch. The golf cart jumps the curb and drops head first down into the ditch.

It all happened so fast but it was like slow motion. I remember thinking - oh shit...we're going to crash...the baby. I grabbed a metal bar on the roof with my right arm as we fell and draped my left arm across my belly. I don't remember feeling us actually hit the ground, but I remember feeling us fall. The next thing I remember was hearing AL moaning and saying she was sorry. She had rolled out of the cart and was laying next to it. Then I saw daddy K on the ground about 7 feet away not moving much. I started yelling to him but he wasn't moving. Eventually, he got up on his hands and knees but was just staring at the ground not saying anything. I was laying on my right side and my right arm had gone through the roof. My arm was pinned under the cart and I couldn't move. I knew that my shoulder was broken. The seat cushion had popped out and was laying on top of me. In golf carts, the batteries are located under the seat so now the battery fluid is leaking all over my face and body. I moved my legs to make sure they were ok and they moved fine.

Daddy K was finally able to get up. He was thrown up into the air and landed on his back. He said he thought he was going to die and it felt like his chest was crushed. When I saw him on his hands and knees, he was trying to breathe. It took a long time before he could catch a breath. He came over to me and started freaking out a little but I was completely calm. In crazy situations, we tend to do that. If one of us freaks out, the other stays calm. He started yelling for help and for someone to call 911. I can still hear his voice full of fear, "Someone call 911! My wife! She's pregnant!" People started coming out of their apartments. I told him about the battery fluid so he got someone to give him some water and a cloth and he started wiping it off my face. I remember thinking - don't swallow it, it will hurt the baby.

The ambulances and fire trucks got there pretty quickly. The super nice firemen had to rip the roof off so they could pull me out. Since I was laying on my side and my arm was above my head, when they pulled me out, they made me lower my arm to my side. HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT HURT! I also remember thinking that I must be looking so fat because my shirt was pulled over my belly for some reason. Maybe because I always kept one hand on the baby. It was not until I was in the hospital that a nurse said - do you want me to pull your shirt down? Anyway, they put me on a stretcher and lifted me out of the pit and into an ambulance. They did the same to daddy K and we were off to the hospital. AL was put in a separate ambulance and taken to a different hospital. Daddy K said she had hit her head because he saw some blood on her forehead. The EMT in our ambulance said kind of bitterly, "they better not bring her to the same place we're going." I know AL didn't do it on purpose and that it was an accident, but I had to smile when the EMT said that. During the ambulance ride, I really began to worry about daddy K. His vitals are not so great...his breathing, heartrate, and blood pressure were inconsistent. He was still so worried and freaking out about me, so I stayed calm and kept telling him we were going to be ok.

In the hospital, daddy K and I were separated. I'm brought into a room and immediately a portable ultrasound machine is brought in. I hadn't felt the baby move since the crash but at 20 weeks, I wasn't feeling him all the time yet anyway. I heard the heartbeat and that was the first time I cried since all of this happened. I completely lost it. I guess I was just waiting to see how the baby was before I broke down. They were tears of happiness and of fear because now I was freaking out about daddy K - he wasn't there to see me so it was ok for me to lose it. The dr told me to see my OB/GYN within a few days for a more thorough ultrasound.

Many hours later, we were discharged to go home and I was told to see an orthopedic surgeon on Monday. Physical injuries ended up being Daddy K had a separated shoulder and bruised ribs. Thankfully that was it for him. I had broken the ball (of the ball and socket joint) in my shoulder and tore my rotator cuff, several broken ribs, and burns on my face from the battery fluid. My OB did an ultrasound and said everything looked ok but there was no way to say with absolute certainty that the baby was not affected until he was born. The orthopedic surgeon said the break was pretty bad and there was no way to know the extent of the rotator damage and if I'd need surgery without doing an MRI. He didn't want to do an MRI while I was pregnant so we'd have to wait until the baby was born...5 months later. If I did end up needing surgery, they would do it not long after the baby was born.

Right after this happened was when I really started to show the pregnancy and feel pregnant. With my shoulder broken, I couldn't dress myself, wash my hair, fix my hair, put on make up...nothing. So for the rest of the pregnancy, I looked and felt like shit. I missed over 3 months of work (on doctor's orders) which was a huge pain in the ass because I was a teacher so I had to deal with lesson plans and substitutes all that time. I was in physical therapy three times a week which got harder and harder the bigger I got. I had to sleep sitting up on the couch. Sex could not happen, even if I wanted it to. I was terrified for a long time afterwards to be in the car, especially if we drove over and overpass because I was afraid of crashing. I'd even get scared walking in a parking lot because I was afraid someone would lose control of their car and hit me. And even though the ultrasounds looked ok, I was constantly worried about the baby.

Little L was born on May 26, 2004 and is a healthy boy. I had the MRI on my shoulder shortly after and thankfully, I didn't need surgery. I started physical therapy again a few weeks after he was born. But my shoulder is not back to normal. I can use it now but not in the same way as before. I don't have full range of motion. I can't lay on my right side for long or else it starts to hurt. I can't swim or tread water. I can't swing a tennis racket or golf club. I can't hold that arm up above my head for very long without pain and weakness. I can't reach back to little L from the driver's seat in the car. The burns on my face cleared up without scarring. These are only the things I can think of right now. It's been 1 year and 4 months since the accident.

So here's where it stands now. Our hard money damages total about $21 - that's medical bills and my missed salary, stuff that we can prove. The insurance company for the other side has offered us $40k to settle. Our lawyer gets 1/3 of whatever we end up with. Our lawyer was great in the beginning - he was a friend of my husband's coworker. However, his lawfirm deals with big time lawsuits. This case is small change to him. But I think he was banking on me needing surgery. If I had to have surgery right after giving birth, this lawsuit would be completely different. To me, this isn't all about money yet I'm insulted with what we've been offered. Hard money damages are one thing, but the psychological, pain and suffering, and permanent damage are much more important to me. In my opinion, seeing my husband laying on the ground motionless - even if just for a few minutes - is priceless. Or what about daddy K seeing me, pregnant trapped under the golf cart. But even more priceless was contantly thinking about the baby and if he was going to be ok...was there something that didn't show on the ultrasound or did I swallow battery acid that I'm passing on to him?

Like I said, this isn't about a dollar amount but at the same time, it is about a dollar amount. I know it was an accident, but that doesn't make it ok. I want this behind us, far behind us, but the past year and a half have been really hard because of this accident and I don't want to walk away from it feeling cheated. Our lawyer doesn't think we should settle for $40k but thinks we should really think about it if they go up to $50k. Remember, he gets a third. If they don't offer us something we think is reasonable - and that's all we want is reasonable - we will take it to court which will drag this on for another year or two. So finally, here's my question for you...

If you were a juror on a case like this, what do you think is a reasonable amount and why? Should I expect more? less?

Monday, May 9

Ugh, men

Daddy K and I are sitting side by side in bed each reading through blogs on our laptops. He goes to one blog written by a woman and says "No pictures! Women should have to sign their posts with a picture and bra size." Sorry ladies, but he's taken. Lucky me!

Little L, you have no idea

Little L, do you know how much trouble you are in? I can't punish you now because well, you aren't even one yet but you should know that I am making a list. A list of the things you do that should be punishable. I started this list today - about 30 minutes ago. The first and only item on the list so far is - why the hell won't you take your nap!! You finished your bottle and were so sleepy with your red, droopy eyes. I laid you down and you turned over to hug your bumpers like you always do. So why aren't you sleeping? Why are you yelling "mama" and other obscenities from your crib? Don't you know that I have bragged to everyone since we've been here that you've been a great sleeper, even with all the travel and moving? Don't you know that it is a good thing to take 2 naps a day and sleep through the night? I know you're almost 1 and around this time kids tend to drop down to only 1 nap, but you are not ready for that yet. You need (and I need) your 2 naps. I'm your mother and I know what is best for you so GO TO SLEEP CHILD! When you are 16 and want to take the car to go out with some chick, you will so be in trouble for this.

If you don't go sleep within the next...15 minutes, I'm going in there with my camera and will add your picture to this post.

(update 5/10/2005)

So you refused to take your nap and this is what I saw when I entered your room. Oh look at those red eyebrows and the tears. Oh the tears!

no nap

Sunday, May 8

Oh to be the Momma

Today was my first Mother's Day ever! Daddy K got up with little L so I could sleep in. I love sleep! They got me flowers. I love flowers! They made me breakfast - pancakes and favorite. I love bacon! We relaxed around the house. I love to relax and I love my house! Little L took two great naps. I love little L's naps! While little L took his afternoon nap, daddy k and I engaged in some grownup activity. We love grownup activity! Then for dinner we went to a Mexican restaurant, La Tequila. I suppose all restaurants in Mexico would be Mexican restaurants, but this one served Mexican food. It was yummy and I love Mexican food! It was a great first Mother's Day! Thank you little L and daddy K for making me a momma - and next year, I want some jewelry!!

This is my mom. Happy Mother's Day Mom! I didn't buy her a gift or even send her a card because I'm still to chicken to drive out on my own. I called her and she was having brunch with her boyfriend and two of my sisters. My dad died in 1998. It was really rough on all of us but especially my mom. She depended on him for everything so when he died, she was completely lost. It took many years, but she has finally gotten a hold of her life. She has become a mostly independent woman - I still do her taxes and used help her with her mail. She joined a senior citizens group and a singles group at church and she takes dance lessons a few times a week. How cool is that? Most importantly, she has a boyfriend - Paul. My mom is not the easiest person to spend lots of time with. My dad was a very patient man and I wondered if she would ever find someone patient enough to put up with her bullshit. Well she did and I think it's great. Some of my sister's disagree and don't like the idea of her having a boyfriend. Get over yourselves! I think it's great that she has someone to hang out with other than her kids. He makes her laugh and makes her feel good. What else could you want for your mom? Love you mom!

If anything ever happened to me, I hope that daddy K finds someone who makes him laugh and makes him feel good. Although if you're reading this daddy K, she better not be prettier or skinnier than I am or have ever been one of my friends!! Love you!

Saturday, May 7

They were his balls, but not his - you know...balls.

For my first post, I thought I'd list some of the interesting things I've seen while living in Mexico...and we've only been here for 2 weeks.

• At a red light during heavy traffic, a man sets up a ladder in front of the stopped cars and proceeds to juggle balls lit on fire. Not his balls. Well, I'm sure they were his balls, but not his you know...balls. Now that would be interesting.

• Again during heavy traffic, a hefty woman standing in the median lifts her shirt up and down exposing her belly hanging over jeans that are way too tight. It was hot so I'm guessing she was "airing' out.

• On a short road trip to the lake, we have to slam on our brakes to avoid hitting 4 horses trying to cross the highway. About a mile down the raod, we see a cow also trying to cross the highway. There's a joke there somewhere but I'm not sure what it is yet.

• Daddy K goes to the grocery store to buy an insulated coffee mug for work. He picks one up to buy it and realizes there's lipstick on it.